Despite all our technological advances and the potential well-being that human beings can enjoy, gratitude is as fashionable as intelligence. Nowadays, it often boils down to comforting ourselves about our situation compared to that of the less fortunate. So here is the opposite of grace, the 24 ungraces of the kyurensiiites. Welcome to the Kyurensi Kodex.
- Many thanks for this meal that we deserve because we paid for it. May the cooks, transporters, and farmers sink into extreme poverty, just like the 675 million people who do not deserve a meal because they cannot afford it. Thanks to them for suffering, for without them, we could not feel privileged. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this sumptuous meal that even with glutony, we could not finish to the last crumb while one in ten people suffer from hunger. Their hunger makes us hungry to the point that we will strive with ardor and determination to increase the proportion and portion of the 39% of overweight adults. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal and these nutrients that are lacking for a third of the planet. The nutritional deficiencies of the poor allow us to fully appreciate vitamins, proteins, and carbohydrates. Thus, in solidarity with the undernourished, let us have sugar, glutamate, and aspartame to experience their deficiencies by empathy for the deficients. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that nourishes our children like pharaohs. May the 149.2 million children under the age of 5 who suffer from stunted growth be role models of resilience for our own children who refuse to finish their broccoli because it doesn’t taste good. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that was made possible by abundant water and electricity, while 25% of primary schools on Earth lack access to electricity, clean water, and basic sanitation services. Fortunately, less than 0% of banks lack access, otherwise we would truly be degenerate. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that was made possible through industrial water treatment. Because for at least 3 billion people, water analysis is not carried out in their region. Thanks to these unfortunate souls who allow us to console ourselves with our simple lives as pharaohs when we feel oppressed. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that would not have been possible without different ecosystems. For the past 300 years, over 85% of wetlands have disappeared. Thankfully, this gives value to the remaining 15%, for without scarcity, there is no value. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal made possible thanks to the past, for the future is always uncertain. If the trend continues, by 2030, 1.6 billion people will not have access to safely managed drinking water, 2.8 billion people will lack safely managed sanitation services, and 1.9 billion people will lack basic hand hygiene facilities. Fortunately, it could be worse, so let us console ourselves. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal cooked thanks to our electricity. The 733 million people who lack access to electricity allow us to truly appreciate our energy. Otherwise, it would be commonplace and without real value, for it is the lack that dictates value. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that was prepared by adults. Because one out of ten children is forced to work, totaling 160 million worthless bastards, and no one wants to have their food cooked by inexperienced incompetents. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this unspoiled meal. It is unbearable to think of the 13% of food that perishes before it is sold, for who pays deserves. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that we are going to waste with delight. No question of letting only 17% of food be wasted by consumers, and especially no question of composting to limit our impact. Let the Earth feel our passage like a baby with a head the size of a pumpkin in its mother’s vagina. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal and its ingredients that have reached us properly packaged so as not to dirty us. Because the 17 million metric tons of recyclable plastic that ended up in the oceans in 2021 is not in vain. It would be ridiculous to waste water by washing our hands because the food is poorly packaged. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal enjoyed in the tranquility and peace of our bourgeoisie. Anxiety and depression have increased by 25% in 2021, especially among women and children, which is good news for the sales of antidepressants and psychiatric consultations. Let us applaud these weak ones who cannot exist without meaning in their lives. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that we were able to afford today. Thanks to the 6.9% of humans living on less than $1.90 a day, we can feel grateful for our condition, which would be unacceptable without the suffering of the poor as a comparison. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that nourishes us as much as it feeds the garbage bins. Only 55% of waste is managed in proper facilities, which is far too much. A precarious profession must remain precarious, and there is no question of paying for waste. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that we consume within the four walls and under a leak-free roof. Thanks to the 29% of the global population living in slums, others can appreciate their makeshift cities. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal purchased on credit. The global debt of $235 trillion, representing 247% of the world’s GDP, will not inflate on its own. For without debt, there is no wealth, and without wealth, there is no happiness. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that could not have been paid without the 25% of the population who work more or less directly to account for our wealth, and therefore our beauty. Without these accountants, nothing would count, and that is all that matters. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that we did not need to steal. In Canada alone, nearly 70,000 police officers must combat crimes linked to money, which amount to over 60% of all crimes. Without theft, corruption, and threats, how will these valiant peacekeepers earn a living? Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that we were able to afford without resorting to prostitution. Globally, over $186 billion in revenue is generated thanks to prostitution, allowing armies of pimps to feed their loved ones, and allowing us to count ourselves lucky that we do not subsist on bodily fluids from pigs practicing supply and demand. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal that was paid for with our own clean money. Between 1999 and 2017, $2 trillion was laundered by major banks, allowing this bleached occult wealth to be fed back into the white as cocaine market. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this secular meal. With 30% Christians, 26% Muslims, 15% Hindus, 14% atheists, 7% Buddhists, 5% animists, 3% others, and 100% Kyurensiiites, it is not easy to eat something that is neither halal nor kosher, just to save our precious money. Ave Kyurensi
- Many thanks for this meal consumed in peace. With 250,000 child soldiers in 2022, the risk of conflict in poor areas of the world could disturb our paid and therefore deserved tranquility. Ave Kyurensi
